A Hole in the World
by Harmony Sunsinger
Summary: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." Inuyasha's sunshine finally faded. Rated for graphic character death.


A/N: I'm in a semi-depressed mood right now. I'm watching my favorite/least favorite episode of "Angel" and I got this idea for a one-shot. This is basically what happens around my other one-shot of Kagome's death, "I'm Still Breathing." This one takes place before and after that. So... here we go.

R.I.P. Winifred "Fred" Burkle

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy,

When skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear,

How much I love you.

So please don't take my sunshine away…

A Hole in the World.

"Momma," Kagome breathed in a low voice as she slung her small, stuffed yellow backpack onto her back. She smiled at her mother, who just gave her a concerned look from where she sat down at the kitchen table. "Momma," Kagome began again after collecting her bearings, "everything is fine. He's just very... impatient."

"I could see that by the way he just barged in here," Grandpa said as he shuffled slowly into the kitchen and sat down with Kagome's mother. He grunted his disapproval, staring out the back window at the small well house. "I don't trust that hanyou. He should at least try to win our respect before he expects us to be all right with him kidnapping our little Kagome like this."

Kagome stamped her foot, looking just like an annoyed, fifteen-year-old girl. "Grandpa, I am NOT your 'little Kagome' anymore! Inuyasha... well, he needs me. I'm the only one that can sense these jewel shards he keeps going on about, and I get the feeling that this is..." She sighed, searching for the right words. "This is important. It really is." She opened her eyes, meeting her mother's gaze.

Mrs. Higurashi just stood and walked over to her daughter, smiling. She put her hands on Kagome's shoulders and hugged her closely. "Just... please be careful, dear," she told her. "You know how much we love you."

Kagome smiled back at her mother and nodded, wiping away the little bit of tears that were invading the corners of her eyes. Then she turned and disappeared out the door, returning to the feudal era for the first time of many.

Four years later, Inuyasha took in a deep breath as he clutched her small, shivering body closer to his. Kagome coughed violently, her entire body moving and shaking against him. Miroku and Sango had jumped right onto Kirara's back, Shippo in tow, to hurry back to Kaede's village, hoping the healer would be able to help them. Inuyasha himself had stayed there with Kagome; she was too weak to move on her own, in too much agony to even stand. She cried out when he tried to move her, so he had just looked at his friends, his ears lain back against his head in hopelessness.

"You guys go on ahead," he had told them, "and hurry back once you've got a cure."

They had moved quickly, disappearing into the night before Inuyasha could say anything more.

Now, he was left here, in the middle of an unknown wood, with the woman he loved... who he knew didn't have much time left.

Kagome turned her head just slightly, her dark eyes peeking up at him through thin, ebony curls. Looking down at her and seeing the pain in her eyes forced Inuyasha's face to scrunch a little uncontrollably, and his eyes burned with unwanted tears as he buried his face into her shoulder. Her scent... her sweet, flowery scent was so sickly, so rotten... He bit back a sob, thinking, 'I need to be strong right now.'

He felt her try to swallow, and she coughed again when she failed to do so. "Inuyasha," she breathed, her voice small and hoarse. He shifted slowly, pulling his head back so he could look down at her. "Yes, Kagome?" he whispered, nuzzling the base of her throat with his sharp nose.

"Can you take me home?"

He stared into her deep eyes, searching, for a few minutes. She stared back up at him, and, amid the fear and the anguish, he could see her telltale resolve, her determination. That was the Kagome he loved so, so much.

He nodded, a little stiffly, and he stood, raising her up off the forest floor gently. She still gasped and cried out loudly at the movement, but he finally had her settled into his arms. Once she was safe and comfortable in his grasp, Inuyasha took off through the trees and underbrush, the moonlight shining off his silver hair like a flickering light in the darkness.

They reached the village before too long and discovered that Kaede hadn't been able to come up with a cure for the strange sickness the demon had used to infect their Kagome. She had sent them on another long journey, near the mountains, to see a witch who knew of such strange parasites, and, maybe, just maybe, this witch would have the cure they needed so desperately.

But Inuyasha couldn't meet them there. He had a promise to keep.

They arrived in her time while it was still dark in the old wellhouse, accompanied by the usual purple glow, and Inuyasha had started off toward the house, noting the lack of presence inside. 'Her family must be out tonight,' he thought as he entered through the back door, walking, slowly, through the dark kitchen. He felt Kagome shudder; she knew where they were.

"They're staying with my aunt," she murmured, her eyes closed. Inuyasha nodded, though he knew she couldn't see him. He darted up the stairs, making his way through the second floor until he came up to her bedroom door. Quite gracefully, he balanced Kagome in one arm, leaning her entire body against his right shoulder, and he turned the doorknob with his left hand, entering the small bedroom and closing the door behind them. Slowly and tenderly, he laid her down on the small, pink bed, covering her with the pink comforter and laying her head gently on the pink pillow. She flinched and writhed a little, the pain returning to torture him. He whimpered as she stiffened and screamed, but, thankfully, it didn't last for long; Kagome found a comfortable position and held it beneath the blanket, her eyes opening to look up at him once more.

Inuyasha stood there over her, looking down at her for a few minutes, unsure of what to do; then, despite the excruciating discomfort it must have caused her, Kagome reached up and pressed her small, clammy palm into his large, warm, rough hand. Her dry, light pink lips parted slightly, and her once-pretty voice cracked as she pleaded, "Lay with me, Inuyasha." Tears welled in her pretty eyes. "Please."

He had to turn away right then; it hurt him to look at her like this. But he took a deep, deep breath and steeled himself. 'I need to be strong right now,' he told himself, turning to face her once again. She smiled slightly, and, for a brief moment, the entire world lit up. Inuyasha couldn't stop himself; he smiled back. 'I need to be strong for her.'

Slowly, he slid Kagome over on the bed; she winced once, but she was otherwise all right. He moved himself underneath the blankets to lay beside her, turning on his side to curl his body around hers. Laying his head beside hers on the pillow, he watched her with concerned, golden orbs.

"What will make you feel better, Kagome?" Inuyasha wanted to know. She coughed again before answering, smiling as she whispered, "Sing to me, please, Inuyasha."

He was, honestly, a little surprised by her request. "Wha- what do you want me to sing?"

Her smile held; she exhaled pleasantly, which Inuyasha knew she was faking. "'You Are My Sunshine.'"

His look was puzzled, his ears swiveling a little at the strange song title. "I don't know that one," he murmured sadly.

She sighed, still smiling. Her eyes closed, and she pushed her head back into the pillow a little, trying to get more comfortable. "'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." she mumbled in cracking, sing-songey voice. "'You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away."

As he listened to the words of this song Kagome was singing for him for the first time, Inuyasha's heart fell a little. His amber eyes widened, and his lips parted in a small, surprised gasp. Kagome finished with a loud, nasty cough, and Inuyasha had to steady her once again, his hand coming to grip her left shoulder.

She settled after a few moments of harsh coughing, and then she sniffled, her eyes fixed on the hanyou lying beside her. "Please, Inuyasha? Sing it for me?"

She could feel his body trembling a little, and she snuggled her face into his chest, afraid to see the tears in his eyes. His heart hurt, but he managed to work out the words in her ear. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me..." He swallowed hard, fighting the pain filling his chest. "You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know..." Inuyasha grunted, shaking his head, and his arms tightened around Kagome's limp form, pulling her closer to him.

"I can't finish it, Kagome."

She moved a little in his arms, her face scrunching a bit from the torment. "Inuyasha...?"

His breathing was coming out shaking and ragged now; his silver hair had fallen over his eyes, covering them in darkness. He swallowed again, and he whispered, "I'm sorry, Kagome, but I just can't finish it for you. It hurts me... too much."

She moved her head a little, and Inuyasha thought that she was nodding. "It's just a shell, Inuyasha," she mumbled quietly.

"What?" he asked, his tone a little surprised.

She pulled her head back, looking up at him. Inuyasha gasped when he saw her face; it was sweaty and pale, and there were blue and green bruises covering her right cheek and the right side of her forehead and neck. Her dark eyes had a strange, glassy sheen to them that alarmed Inuyasha; he could tell that she was nearly gone.

'Gone,' he thought as he stared at her. 'In just a while... she's gonna be gone.'

She held his golden gaze for a few silent minutes, neither moving or speaking. Then: "Do you think I'm pretty?"

Without hesitation: "Yes."

"Even now?"

He swallowed. "Yes."

She smiled, and the world brightened again. "This is just a pretty shell, Inuyasha."

He watched her intensely. "What do you mean, Kagome? You mean, like a seashell?"

Kagome closed her eyes, sinking her head back into the pillow. "Yes, Inuyasha. It's just a pretty seashell that's lying next to you right now."

'And when you're gone,' he thought, staring at her, 'it'll just be an empty seashell. Whatever's inside now... that'll be gone.'

"What does it mean when you say that someone's gone, Kagome?" he wondered aloud. When she didn't answer, Inuyasha tilted his head to view her from a better angle. "Kagome?" His pup's ears twitched slightly, and he listened intently for a moment. She was still breathing; he could hear her heartbeat like a roaring in his ears.

Suddenly, she bolted upright, into a sitting position, and Inuyasha followed, terror flooding through him like cold, biting ice. Kagome started heaving and convulsing and coughing, her voice ragged as she groaned and cried out, "Please! Inuyasha!" He could hear her heartbeat take flight, and it sounded like a hummingbird's heart, it was beating so fast. She turned her head and looked right into his eyes right then, her expression pleading and terrified, yet still so brave. "Why can't I stay?"

She fell back then, and he caught her in one arm, holding her up, and Inuyasha stared down into her glassy eyes. He heard her breathing cease, her heart suddenly stop beating. Her scent began to fade almost instantly, and her warmth was beginning to recede. After only a moment, Inuyasha watched as her pupils spread, darkening her chocolate-colored eyes even more.

Inuyasha stared down at her in horror. As it slowly began to sink in what had happened, he began to shake her a little, pleading quietly, "Kagome, please? Wake up. Please?" He begged for her scent to stop fading away, for her heartbeat and smile to return. He didn't know how long he'd sat there; finally, sunlight began to break through the curtains, falling over the floor, and still he sat on her bed, begging. Kagome's family came home to find a wide-eyed Inuyasha hugging Kagome's lifeless body on her bed.

About a month passed by before Inuyasha was finally seen in the feudal era once again. Miroku was sitting, cross-legged, just outside the door of Kaede's small hut; Sango was inside, helping the older woman with the cleaning and cooking. Shippo had been trying to get back into the habit of playing with the human children, but he was still concerned. They all were.

Miroku's heart sank when he saw that his friend was returning alone. He stood to greet him, but Inuyasha just stood there. The hanyou frowned at the small hut, then he gestured for Miroku to come to him. The monk, though a bit confused, followed Inuyasha, walking with him through the nearby wood.

Inuyasha sighed. "She's gone, Miroku."

The monk nodded pensively. "I noticed." At Inuyasha's questioning glance, Miroku went on, "A few weeks ago, late at night, Sango, Kirara, Shippo, and I were flying toward the mountains. Sango pointed out that one of the brighter stars in the sky vanished without a trace, as if it had been extinguished. I looked at her, and she knew what I was thinking; that it was done. We turned around right then and returned to the village to wait for your arrival. Shippo cried on the way back."

Inuyasha nodded sharply. "Of course he did," he muttered, his eyes somehow remaining dry. "She was like his mother."

Miroku watched him. "Was it peaceful?" he wanted to know.

Inuyasha looked up at him, his golden eyes drilling through the monk's body, into his soul. "No. She was in horrible pain, and she was sick, and she was bruised all over, and her scent..." He shook his head, his tempter flaring at the bad memories. He slammed his fist into a nearby tree. "Her scent was dead and rotting HOURS before she was died. And I couldn't do a DAMN thing. All I could do was sit there and watched her fucking… DETERIORATE!"

Miroku kept his distance from his temperamental friend; he knew that Inuyasha had already lost quite a bit for one man's lifetime: his father, his mother, his first love, any and all hope for a normal childhood and life. Now, he had lost the woman he loved, the woman he had wanted for quite some time to marry and mate.

"You know what she said just before she died?" Miroku watched his friend intensely, knowing how much pain it caused Inuyasha to speak of such things at the moment. Inuyasha shook his head, his fist still pressed against the tree trunk. "She told me that it was just a pretty seashell that I was lying next to."

Miroku nodded. "She was correct, Inuyasha," he replied, bowing his head a little in an unspoken prayer. "Her soul lingers on, waiting for you to join it in the reincarnation cycle."

Inuyasha growled a little at his friend's words, though they were meant to be comforting. "Dammit, Miroku, I don't WANT her to be WAITING for me somewhere! I want her to be HERE! In her pretty shell, with her pretty eyes and her pretty smile and her pretty scent! DAMMIT!" He punched the tree again.

They were silent for a few minutes, Miroku giving Inuyasha time to calm down a little. Then: "Miroku."

"Hm?"

"Do you remember when we were in Mount Hakurei? And we found the deep, deep chasm, with the miasma?"

Miroku blinked, wondering where this was going. "Mmhmm?"

Inuyasha was quiet a moment, obviously thinking. "I remember saying to Kagome that there was a hole in the world." He turned his head and looked directly into Miroku's eyes. "But I never really felt it until now. Until the moment when she died, when there was this... this lack of presence in my arms. NOW there is something officially wrong with the world."

Miroku stepped forward a few steps, until he was standing right beside his best friend. He clapped a hand on his shoulder, trying to be comforting. "She really did love you, Inuyasha."

The hanyou nodded stiffly again, tears finding their way back to his eyes. "I know. She never had to say it; I just always knew."

THE END


End file.
